Hello! Well, it's been a while since I've written anything in this here "live journal". It's not a-live, that's for sure. Luckily, I still am (I think that's good, right?). Things have slowed down a little over here. I'm still having a few odd health symptoms, but some other ones are starting to even out. For instance, did you know that I've lost 50lbs since I had Pele? The weight keeps dropping, too. I guess running around at all hours with a baby does that, but it's more than that. Before I had Pele I actually worried that it would merely add to my weight problem. I've had to be much more conscious about food, since having gallstones made me change my diet, having systemic Candida, bacterial infections, UTIs.
I've had to cut out most if not all of the following:
I've added:
So, I'm going to an ob/gyn for my yearly/pap (I know...TMI). Although now I feel like a doofus because I'm on my period, and I didn't factor that in before I made my appt with the doctor, and I'm pretty sure that you can't get a pap smear while on the rag. Hmm. I do need to ask about several things, so maybe I can still go, just not do the pap yet, since sometimes it takes months to get an appointment if they're filled up. I want to ask about the possibility of PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) which can cause many of the symptoms I've had or have been having. I dunno.This appointment was a month out, and that was pretty good. I've already pushed this appt back a month due to scheduling issues, so I don't want to put it off much longer. I do admit I feel better, a bit more energetic, though that would be helped tremendously, I know, by getting more exercise. I'm still fighting getting an exercise regime going. I don't know what I want to do. I bought a book on getting in shape after having a baby, but I am notorious for putting things like that off (especially involving routine or implementation). I could just pick one or two things from it and try that a couple times a day and see how it goes. I could add to it later. I am trying to just be patient with myself and realize I can't change ALL these things about myself in record time. It's going to take time to break through all these personal barriers, the anxiety, the negative body image, the hesitant and shaky self-image, the emerging self...all that $hit.
So, Pele is doing well. She is getting big and (tall) and so funny and such an individual. I get frustrated with her because she's getting more grabby and mobile, but I know I am going to have to get used to that. She's a double Sag for crying out loud! It'll be good, perhaps. Maybe she'll get my engine revved up and actually get me out and about. I tend to be the hermit. I have always been reluctant about the outdoorsy stuff though secretly I think it would be good for me. Anyway...we'll see. Pele outgrew her carseat and is in a larger seat, although she does not like being strapped down in the car, which has been a particular point of frustration for me lately, since she'll scream (no matter what I do) at some point in the car, usually upon returning from some location. So I've been practicing going on different lengths of trips to see what she'll do, and usually she'll cry, despite the length, although one time she didn't cry on a short trip. Oye. Any recommendations are welcome.
At least the traveling portion has slowed down lately. I had been going on trips a couple times a month out of town or out of state. It was getting tiring, especially with Pele's pension to scream nightly, which I found out was from overstimulation, which only calmed down after hours of unrelenting screeching. It was a nightmare...So I'm rather reluctant to go on 'sabbatical' anywhere, since it tends to turn into a lot more stress than it's worth. I'm not saying I regret seeing my family, but it was very trying at times. I am gratified to see how much everyone who comes into contact with Pele loves her so much and seems to want to spend time with her. She's going to be popular...
In any event, I think things are going well, even though the new parenting journey has not been smooth. The ultra-long labor followed by social services BS (exonerated, of course), the surgery, the trips, the baby issues, the health issues, the identity crises, and other and sundry things. I am glad I didn't know all of this was going to happen before I got pregnant, otherwise I may've seriously reconsidered getting pregnant at all, and then I would've missed out on all the tough but important lessons that I am learning about myself and about being a parent now.
Thank you for your patience whoever read this!
XO,
Hannah and Pele Rose (sacrificial Volcano baby goddess)
p.s. for those of you who know anything about astrology, I am going through a major Pluto transit to my ascendant (conjunct), which is about a major transformation and rebirth of the self, particularly identity (ruled by 1st house), physical appearance and self image, and how one expresses oneself in the world. So far I've seen quite a few things happen (majorly) on those fronts
I've had to cut out most if not all of the following:
- refined sugar
- dairy (I still have goat milk on occasion, or yogurt)
- saturated fat (I still eat meat, but I eat leaner meat or tofu, less red meat)
I've added:
- Probiotics
- more water (again)
- Cranberry
- my prenatal multi (I'm not pregnant, but it's good while you're nursing) I stopped taking it for a while
So, I'm going to an ob/gyn for my yearly/pap (I know...TMI). Although now I feel like a doofus because I'm on my period, and I didn't factor that in before I made my appt with the doctor, and I'm pretty sure that you can't get a pap smear while on the rag. Hmm. I do need to ask about several things, so maybe I can still go, just not do the pap yet, since sometimes it takes months to get an appointment if they're filled up. I want to ask about the possibility of PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) which can cause many of the symptoms I've had or have been having. I dunno.This appointment was a month out, and that was pretty good. I've already pushed this appt back a month due to scheduling issues, so I don't want to put it off much longer. I do admit I feel better, a bit more energetic, though that would be helped tremendously, I know, by getting more exercise. I'm still fighting getting an exercise regime going. I don't know what I want to do. I bought a book on getting in shape after having a baby, but I am notorious for putting things like that off (especially involving routine or implementation). I could just pick one or two things from it and try that a couple times a day and see how it goes. I could add to it later. I am trying to just be patient with myself and realize I can't change ALL these things about myself in record time. It's going to take time to break through all these personal barriers, the anxiety, the negative body image, the hesitant and shaky self-image, the emerging self...all that $hit.
So, Pele is doing well. She is getting big and (tall) and so funny and such an individual. I get frustrated with her because she's getting more grabby and mobile, but I know I am going to have to get used to that. She's a double Sag for crying out loud! It'll be good, perhaps. Maybe she'll get my engine revved up and actually get me out and about. I tend to be the hermit. I have always been reluctant about the outdoorsy stuff though secretly I think it would be good for me. Anyway...we'll see. Pele outgrew her carseat and is in a larger seat, although she does not like being strapped down in the car, which has been a particular point of frustration for me lately, since she'll scream (no matter what I do) at some point in the car, usually upon returning from some location. So I've been practicing going on different lengths of trips to see what she'll do, and usually she'll cry, despite the length, although one time she didn't cry on a short trip. Oye. Any recommendations are welcome.
At least the traveling portion has slowed down lately. I had been going on trips a couple times a month out of town or out of state. It was getting tiring, especially with Pele's pension to scream nightly, which I found out was from overstimulation, which only calmed down after hours of unrelenting screeching. It was a nightmare...So I'm rather reluctant to go on 'sabbatical' anywhere, since it tends to turn into a lot more stress than it's worth. I'm not saying I regret seeing my family, but it was very trying at times. I am gratified to see how much everyone who comes into contact with Pele loves her so much and seems to want to spend time with her. She's going to be popular...
In any event, I think things are going well, even though the new parenting journey has not been smooth. The ultra-long labor followed by social services BS (exonerated, of course), the surgery, the trips, the baby issues, the health issues, the identity crises, and other and sundry things. I am glad I didn't know all of this was going to happen before I got pregnant, otherwise I may've seriously reconsidered getting pregnant at all, and then I would've missed out on all the tough but important lessons that I am learning about myself and about being a parent now.
Thank you for your patience whoever read this!
XO,
Hannah and Pele Rose (sacrificial Volcano baby goddess)
p.s. for those of you who know anything about astrology, I am going through a major Pluto transit to my ascendant (conjunct), which is about a major transformation and rebirth of the self, particularly identity (ruled by 1st house), physical appearance and self image, and how one expresses oneself in the world. So far I've seen quite a few things happen (majorly) on those fronts
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